Morton Family Law, LLC
Kim Denise Morton, Esq.

Tips for the Newly Divorced

• Make sure you have the original deeds, notes, car titles and other documents which should be in your possession, and place them in a safe deposit box.
• If you move to a new state, your prior decree is enforceable under the full faith and credit provisions of the US Constitution.
• In Pennsylvania, partial custody/visitation cannot be denied because support payments are not being made and, conversely, support payments cannot be withheld because of a denial of custody.
• Divorce decrees are generally enforceable by contempt proceedings, attachments of property, or garnishments.
• Child snatching is punishable in virtually every state, and rarely does the party taking the child ever obtain custody.
• Custody and child support orders may be modified.
• Beneficiaries on insurance policies should be checked and changed where needed. If minor children receive life insurance proceeds, the other parent will be trustee for such funds unless special provisions are made.
• Alimony for the support of an ex-spouse is generally tax-deductible by the "paying" spouse; child support is not.
• You may have liability for charges made on joint credit cards; all joint credit card accounts should be closed.
• Contempt of court for failure to make court-ordered support payments or failure to permit court-ordered custody may involve being jailed. Play by the rules!
• Contract rights of third parties are not usually affected by a decree of divorce, so if you were obligated to a bank/finance company, etc. before the divorce, you are still obligated even though your ex-spouse has been ordered to pay some.
• A live-in boyfriend or girlfriend may be grounds for a change in custody, support and/or alimony.
• In the event of a death of the custodial parent, the other parent usually gets custody, will provisions to the contrary notwithstanding.
• Without a will, property which you want to go to your children could be controlled by your ex-spouse.
• In Pennsylvania, grandparents can sometimes get partial custody rights with their grandchildren.
• A wide variety of social services is available to a custodial parent receiving inadequate support payments.
• The wishes of a child of reasonable age are sometimes considered by the court in determining which parent the child will live with. More emphasis will be placed on the request of an older child.
• All alimony and support payments should be by check, or a signed receipt should be obtained. The receiving party should keep a very accurate record of all payments received.
• Gifts and money provided to children directly do not count as child support under most court orders.
• Child support payments generally do not cease during periods of party custody even though such periods may be lengthy, although payments may be reduced.
• Any deviation from the terms of a court decree agreed upon by you and your ex-spouse should be in writing and signed by both parties.
• Take a short inexpensive vacation, if possible.
• Treat yourself to an inexpensive gift.
• If you have not found a new apartment or home, fill out a change or address card at the post office; fill in general delivery. The post office will hold your mail for thirty days, which will give you time to relocate.
• Let your children know that you have not divorced them.
• NEVER talk badly about your ex-spouse to your children. You will only hurt your children and confuse them even more.
• You will find that a few of your friends have left you, but the few who remain should be told how important their friendship is to you. It is a strange quirk of human nature why some of your friends have dropped out. The reasons range from their being threatened by your divorce and your new freedom to a feeling inadequacy because they simply do not know how to help you through this period. Life may seem very black when this happens, but things will get better sooner than you think. You have a clean slate now. Learn from your old mistakes.
• Make sure your will is revised. If you don't have a will, now is the time to make one.
• Change beneficiaries on insurance policies and retirement plans, if needed.
• Obey the property settlement agreement and/or divorce decree. Going back to court for contempt is a waste of emotion, time and money.
• Do not use the children as weapons. The non-custodial parent should see the children regularly and on time and the custodial parent should have the children dressed properly and have an overnight bag packed sufficiently.
• Have locks changed on prior marital residence if ex-spouse still have key. Don't look for trouble.
• If you are having a particular difficult time adjusting as a newly divorced person, do not hesitate to seek help. Churches offer counseling, as do psychologists, psychiatrist, and support groups.